A few of you have mentioned that my posts are so upbeat. And a few of you have been concerned that perhaps I am just putting on a brave front. The truth is that while yes, for the most part I do have a positive outlook,  I also have moments when the fears overcome my positive thoughts.

The fear that I’ve wrestled with this past week is the impending loss of my hair. I’ve had it a long time. I’m pretty attached to it. The thought of looking into mirror at a bald head that has my face on it is extremely disturbing. The loss of my hair is also a public message that “Hey, I have cancer”. Right now when I walk down the street no one knows about the challenge that I’m facing, but a bald head is like a billboard. Not to mention the process of getting to the point of baldness. Losing clumps of hair is going to be traumatic. My nurse at PMH suggested that I may want to cut my hair ahead of time to not only reduce the mess, but to help mitigate some of the trauma.

Armed with this knowledge of inevitably losing my hair, I went to the Wig Salon at PMH, where I was promptly told that I was going to have to cut my hair in order to even have a Wig Consultation. My hair was so long that I wouldn’t be able to try on any new hairstyles.

So I decided to pull the trigger. On Wednesday afternoon I went to the hair salon to cut off my long blonde mane. It sounds like a simple task, but the thought of cutting my hair made this whole cancer thing very, very real. I knew couldn’t do it alone. So Sheryl came with me for moral support, and together we did it. Sheryl’s guidance helped bridge the gap between the stylist’s vision for my hair and my own comfort level. I couldn’t have done it without her.

I ended up with a new hairstyle that I’ve never had before. The vision of this hairstyle had never even crossed my mind. Yet the new haircut has been a hit with my friends, family and colleagues. I have never received so many compliments on my “look”. And it turns out that I have discovered something new because of this experience. Out of this haircut, I have learned a valuable lesson… sometimes we have to take chances…try something new…and maybe, just maybe…we will actually be better off for it.